Just Talking

I read an article called "Just Talking" by JD Gunter a few months ago. I remember it was very good. It took me awhile to find it again but I am so thankful I did. It is about the stage in a relationship that is referred to as "just talking". This article totally echoes my thoughts and beliefs about how things are these days.

As the mother of a young single Christian lady, and I emphasize the word "lady" because to me that is the key, what I see these days causes me concern. I see a lack of respect for young women, and this includes inside the church as well. What I see is a lot of young fellows looking for a relationship or partner or marriage with the thought that it will make them happy.

I remember Mr. Collins, in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie. Before offering his marriage proposal to Elizabeth, he stated his reasons for desiring to get married. One of his reasons was that it would greatly add to his happiness. Elizabeth had no qualms about refusing his proposal and taking off out the door. She could see how unhappy it would make her.

If only young ladies today could recognize when a fellow is pursuing them to make himself happy rather than truly caring about her and or having her best interests at heart.

A fellow who pursues a young lady to make himself happy will most likely love himself more than her. This is not a good basis for a healthy relationship and if a relationship is not healthy, it stands a good chance of failing.

I may sound old-fashioned but one thing that sends up a red flag to me about whom a fellow puts first, is his behaviour when he picks up a young lady at her house. Does he:

A. stay in the car with the motor running?
B. sit in the car texting?
C. honk the horn? 
D. go to the door, ring the doorbell and go in to meet her parents?

Anything other than D shows he is putting himself first and C definitely creates the worst first impression on the lady's parents! What a lack of respect! By not showing any interest in meeting a lady's parents, the fellow shows he is more interested in himself. If she were important to him, meeting her parents would be important to him as well.

On the other hand, something that makes a good impression is opening the door for ladies, be it a door to a building or a car door. You get the picture. I know of only a couple of fellows my age who do this. Opening the door for a lady shows good upbringing and shows respect for the lady.

Ladies, you are worth SO much more than someone who puts himself first. You need to realize you are important and you deserve better than that. Don't accept or settle for less. It can be a very unhappy life when you are with someone who doesn't care enough about you or have your best interests at heart.  I will be sharing more on this in my next post "A Real Man".

I really wonder why these fellows aren't being taught to be men. They are obviously not learning it on their own or by osmosis. Why aren't people being taught to respect others and have respect for themselves?

I've lived in a community where children are taught, before they are even in school, to shake someone's hand in greeting. It is a simple sign of respect. How many people, do you know, teach their children to respect others? How many people, do you know, shake someone's hand in greeting, when it is not in a business setting?

Just some food for thought.

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